i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
