the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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