Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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