She said her name was "party"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
