The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
