My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
