i love accidental penises.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
