I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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