it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
