how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
