You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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