I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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