Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
