He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
