I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
