I am puke
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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