absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
