Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
