You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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