we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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