whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize