Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
