Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
