so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
