o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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