Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
