after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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