Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
