Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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