if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
