This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
