I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
