Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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