I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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