well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
