how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
