she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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