Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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