I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
