we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
