The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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