im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
