I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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