She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
