9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
