it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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