you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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