i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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