That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
