Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
