Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
