bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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