I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize