I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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