They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
