Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
