but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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