It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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