If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
