I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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