so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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