Define "chronic" masturbator.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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