Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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