final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
