his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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